By Amrita Saini April 27, 2022
“Boys will be boys. But girls will be women.” Dua Lipa sings these words detailing the challenges that women face from day to day. These words exonerate boys for their mistreatment of girls while devaluing the need to hold boys accountable.
The phrase “boys will be boys” was first recorded in 1589. It originates from a Latin proverb: “Children (boys) are children (boys) and do childish things.” As time progressed, the meaning of this phrase warped into a belief that excused and dismissed boys’ actions, causing those actions to carry into adulthood.
In 2015 Chanel Miller, referred to as Emily Doe till 2019, was sexually assaulted by a man named Brock Turner while she was unconscious. Instead of focusing on the harm inflicted by Turner, the case began to focus on Miller’s credibility and her alcohol consumption during that night. Those facts were used to minimize the assault to which Miller was subjected. Turner was put in jail for just six months against the prosecutor’s demand for a six-year sentence. The judge felt anything more severe was too harsh since Brock was a decorated athlete at Stanford who was just trying to have a little fun and took things too far due to his intoxication. The judge dismissed Turner’s actions as a “mistake,” overlooking the trauma that Chanel Miller was going to have to cope with. All the judge forgot to say during the ruling was the actual phrase “boys will be boys.”
Others claim that boys are just children that make mistakes.While all children make mistakes, dismissing a boy’s aggressive behavior as a normal boyhood phenomenon enables authority figures to neglect underlying aggressive behaviors This could lead to more detrimental behavior in the future. In the court case of Nabozny v. Podlesny, an openly gay student named Nabozny was regularly harassed and beaten by his schoolmates. Nabozny was kicked so hard that he had to go through surgery to repair the damage. During this time, the principal of the school allegedly stated, “boys will be boys” and the school administration criticized Nabozny for the abuse he endured. The school administration’s actions, reinforced by the damaging phrase "boys will be boys,” overlooked the toxic masculinity and blamed the victim.
We must begin to hold boys to a higher standard, one which holds them accountable for their actions rather than justifying their wrongdoings by saying “boys will be boys.” Chanel Miller and Jamie Nabozny did not deserve their mistreatment. Neither did the countless others to whom those words have been spoken as an excuse for unacceptable behavior.
Works Cited:
Brockes, Emma. “Chanel Miller on Why She Refuses to Be Reduced to 'Brock Turner's Victim'.”
The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 25 Sept. 2019,
Evans, Julie Ryan. “Why We Say ‘Boys Will Be Boys’ But Not ‘Girls Will Be Girls.’”
Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, 19 Jan. 2021,
Lugg, Catherine A. “Nabozny v. Podlesny.” Britannica.com,
Meyer, Elizabeth. “The Danger of ‘Boys Will Be Boys.’” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 14 Mar. 2014,
Roffman, Deborah. “Boys Will Be ...” The New York Times, The New York Times, 9 Oct. 2018,
Strandberg, Selena. “Boys Will Be Boys: The Uncomfortable Truth About Trump, America and Women.” Observer, Observer, 19 Oct. 2016,